


Farewell, My Paradise

by sakuraxdream



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cussing, Death, Hospitals, I am so sorry for writing this, M/M, Someone give them a hug, Swearing, Terminal Illnesses, Timeskips, alot of crying happens, not really tho, theres some fluff somwhere, this is literally all angst im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27750250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuraxdream/pseuds/sakuraxdream
Summary: "See you soon, my paradise"This was something Tendou would say to Suga before they parted for a significant amount of time.They didn't say 'goodbye', it was always 'see you soon.' Suga was Tendou's paradise, since volleyball was taken away from him, and Tendou never wanted to leave his paradise the way he left his last one.Being with Suga made him feel good, like he was finally where he belonged. In paradise.
Relationships: Sugawara Koushi/Tendou Satori
Comments: 15
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Just a small PSA that I am not a doctor, I have looked into the illness in this story a few times for a basic idea, but some of the information may be incorrect. 
> 
> This is also my first non-oneshot story, so it may be a bit rough around the edges, but I've had a few friends help out with some small details :) 
> 
> Thank you :)

It was nearing the end of Tendou's third year, volleyball championships far behind him. Tendou was on his way to pick up his boyfriend from school. Yeah, he had to skip the last period to get there in time, but it was worth it. He entered the gates as soon as people started trailing out of the building, leaning against the gates, eyes searching for a certain someone. 

"Tendou-san!" 

He heard his name being called, and before he could turn to see who it was, he felt two small grabby hands latch onto his shoulders and legs wrap around his torso, he stumbled back in shock and from the sudden jostling and nearly fell over.

"Hinata you little shit-"

The booming voice grew louder as the body latched onto Tendou yelped and hid behind him. Before Tendou knew what was going on, Suga was swatting at Hinata to get him down. 

"Hinata I told you to stay with me, also you can't just jump on people like that, what if you hurt him. Another thing-" Suga continuously scolded him, Tendou finally realized it was Hinata on his back and laughed. 

"Koushi you worry too much" He breathed out, cackling at Suga's reaction. 

This resulted in Suga rolling his eyes and yanking the boy from Tendou's body "Uh-huh, okay, laugh all you want. Hinata, I saw Kageyama practicing in the gym, he was looking for a partn-" 

Before Suga could finish his sentence, Hinata was gone, he had rushed off to find his volleyball partner. 

Suga sighed at the boy, taking deep and heavy breaths, and Tendou slung an arm around his shoulders as both of them walked through the gates together, heading towards the store that Ukai owned. The two talked about their day, telling each other dumb stories of the stupid things their friends did, laughing over literally every small thing. It wasn't hard for them to have a good time together, which is what made them mix so well together. They entered the store, Suga grabbing a few snacks and drinks, Tendou on a mission to find the newest chapter of his favorite series. Tendou saw Suga and Ukai conversing from the corner of his eyes, and at one point Suga jumped and his face went red. Tendou wondered what they were talking about to make him react like that. 

The two made their exit and Tendou decided to bring it up, "What were you and the big guy talking about?" He raised an eyebrow and turned his face over to the other boy's. 

"Oh, just… y'know, school… and stuff" 

"What kind of stuff did you talk about to make your face light up like a Christmas tree" he teased mercilessly, poking at Suga's face, he watched as the boy's face began glowing bright red again. 

"Oh… uh" He started getting flustered, "He asked about you, that's all." His hand flew to the back of his head as he stroked his neck out of embarrassment 

Tendou burst into laughter "We've been dating for how long? And you still get flustered at the topic?" 

"It's only been a few weeks! I never get this much attention!" He defended himself, face getting redder, now being teased by the boy.

When Tendou continued cackling over it, Suga decided to tease him back "I'm not the one who hasn't told my friends yet." And Tendou stopped laughing immediately

"Well.. um... That's because…" Tendou trailed off, not knowing how to respond, there was an actual reason why Tendou hadn't told any of his friends about it. They would tease him for it, not because he was gay, but because he's dating the boy whose soul he wanted to crush most during their last game. They already mock the tension Tendou and Suga had during the volleyball game, it would be 100x worse if they knew the two were dating. They would never let him hear the end of it. He was avoiding that conversation for as long as possible. 

"Fine. You win" He rolled his eyes "That's like, one point Suga, one hundred points Tendou" He grinned confidently 

"Um. No. I have won plenty of times." Suga rebutted 

"Hm, no sorry I think I would remember that" He shrugged, knowing it would make Suga infuriated 

"You know I've beaten you before, your ego is just too large to accept it" Suga hummed "I'll even give a few examples; remember when-" he was cut off by Tendou ruffling his hand through the hair of the shorter boy. 

"Do you think you can speak up? I can't hear you from all the way up here." He cooed and was sure he had won this fight when Suga didn't respond. He then doubled over in pain when he felt a kick to his shin. He looked up at Suga who was now standing over him, "Can you hear me now?" He smiled angelically, but his eyes had malicious intent. Suga had won. Again. 

~

Soon it was 2 days before spring break ended, Tendou and Suga were still together, although they wouldn't be able to see each other for a long time. They both had graduated almost 2 weeks ago, and Tendou had to leave the next day to set up his dorm room. 

Tendou was accepted into the culinary school he applied to… in France. 

Suga was stoked about it, he was so happy Tendou was accepted to his dream school, especially since Tendou was secretly freaking out about getting in. But they both feared what was going to happen to their relationship since they would be so far from each other for such a long time. Sure, Tendou would fly home a few times a year, but it wouldn't be the same. Suga was going to school for childhood education, he already even managed to get an internship at an elementary school not too far away. They were so proud of the other and made a promise to make long-distance work as best as possible, understanding how difficult it would be. 

Tendou and Suga were basically attached at the hip for that entire week and a half, they wanted to be together as much as possible before they wouldn't see each other until the first semester ended, and Tendou would come home for a bit. 

Suga was helping Tendou finish some small packing for the plane ride, most of his stuff was shipped to the college already, all in boxes. They practically worked in silence, a small song in the background playing from the commercial on the television. Tendou was stuffing his Shiratorizawa jacket into his small backpack he would take on the plane with him when Suga broke the silence; 

"I wish I could come with you, I would do anything to go to France," he said, putting a stack of Tendou's mangas into a suitcase. Yes, he needed a suitcase for them all. 

"You only care about going to France? It's like you forget I'll be gone for months" he groaned, disappointed that Suga would only talk about France, and not the fact that they would be apart for so long. 

"Hm? Oh, I mean I guess I'll miss you too." He shrugged lightly, trying to hide the smirk that tugged on the corner of his mouth.

Tendou grabbed a pillow and chucked it at Suga, smacking him in the head. Causing Suga to stumble a bit in shock, resulting in Tendou breaking out into laughter.

"Oh so you're just asking for it now" Suga looked up at him mercilessly from the other side of the room, picking up the pillow from the floor. 

"You wanna go, pretty boy?" Tendou challenged, picking up the other pillow from the bed 

Before Tendou could finish his sentence, Suga was already on the bed charging at Tendou. Now slightly taller than Tendou, he managed to swipe the pillow into his head. Tendou at the same time swung his pillow at Suga's body. The force caused Suga to collapse onto the bed, Tendou taking this opportunity to jump on him and looked evilly down at the boy. 

Once Suga realized what Tendou was about to do, his eyes widened; "Tendou. Please." 

Tendou shook his head and threw his hands down on his boyfriend's stomach, ticking the living hell out of him. Suga laughed painfully at the tickles, kicking and pleading for the taller male to get off of him. 

Finally, Tendou stopped once Suga had tears of laughter gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I win" he proclaimed proudly and Suga sat up straight, breathing heavily before he started coughing like crazy.

After a minute Tendou looked at him "Damn are you alright? Didn't mean to get you that bad" he asked half teasing, half concerned. 

Suga looked at him and nodded when it finally stopped "Yeah I just need to catch my breath" he barely huffed out before leaning into Tendou's body. 

"I am gonna miss you, by the way, more than anything" Suga finally admitted sorrowfully.

"I'm gonna miss you too, but listen, I'll be home before you even know it! I'll show you so many cool things I'll be able to do! Besides I'm sure you'll facetime me whenever you get the chance" He laughed softly, picturing him and Suga talking on the phone 20 times a day.

This made Suga chuckle along with him "Yeah, you're right, you better bring me back some cool French stuff" He threatened playfully 

"I know, I know, you love France" He rolled his eyes laughing, wrapping his other arm around Suga, causing Suga to lean his head against Tendou's chest. They both turned their attention to the tv screen, comfortably having their last night together before Suga would go with Tendou's mom to take him to the airport in the morning. 

And the last thing Tendou said before boarding the plane; "See you soon, my paradise"

This was something Tendou would say to Suga before they parted for a significant amount of time. They didn't say 'goodbye', it was always 'see you soon.' Suga was Tendou's paradise, since volleyball was taken away from him of course. Tendou never wanted to leave his paradise the way he left his last one. Suga made him happy every day of his life. Being with Suga made him feel good, like he was finally where he belonged. In paradise.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a year into their college lives, Tendou and Suga had taken long-distance incredibly well. They did actually facetime almost 20 times a day, it should have been difficult due to their time differences, but Suga's and Tendou's sleep schedules were so awful that it came in handy. 

Tendou had come home a few times already to visit on break, and his spring break was coming up in a few days. But for now, he had a surprise for his unsuspecting boyfriend. It was about 8:30 pm which meant it was Suga's lunch break at his internship, he pressed the call button. 

Suga responded immediately; "Satori! What's the surprise- wait- oh my god." 

It didn't take Suga long to realize what the surprise was. Tendou had saved his head. His entire head. Suga burst into immediate laughter, which caused Tendou to frown a bit. 

"What? You don't like it?" He questioned sorrowfully, running his hand over the peach fuzz anxiously. 

Suga was hiccuping from laughing so hard, and after calming himself down slightly, he spoke "No! It's cute! If you like it I like it! That was just the last thing that I was expecting." He let out another giggle before continuing "I can't wait to see it in person. Oh! I have a small surprise for you too actually! it's not very exciting but-" 

"Sugawara-sensei, who are you talking to?" A small voice interrupted the two, Suga turned his head to see who it was. 

"Boys, isn't it lunch break, what are you still doing here?" Tendou heard Suga speaking to the people, but couldn't see who it was since the phone had been put down. 

A different voice spoke up "We came to ask you about the volleyball club! Is that your girlfriend?" The voice asked suddenly, no longer interested in the original topic. 

Tendou could only imagine how red Suga got once he heard that question, but he could hear as Suga started fumbling with his words. 

Eventually, he pulled himself together; "um, no, this is my boyfriend Tendou, he's in France for school." Suga picked up the phone so the little kids could see the now bald red-head on the phone. They blinked for a second while Tendou got a good look at them, there were three boys there. Two of the boys had black hair while the third had platinum blonde hair. The blonde-haired boy smiled and revealed a set of braces on his teeth "Hello Tendou-san!" he bowed towards the phone, the other two following his actions. 

"Sugawara-sensei, why is your boyfriend in France?" One of the raven-haired boys looked up at Suga 

"Didn't you hear Sugawara-sensei, he's there for school stupid" The other raven-haired boy stated obviously 

"Okay okay, enough of that. I'll see you guys in gym 2 after school today, okay. Now go to lunch before Kawakami-sensei gets all of us in trouble." He scolded the three boys as they bowed and all exited the classroom together. 

"Wow, what an authority figure you are Koushi-kun" Tendou teased as Suga sighed dramatically 

"I will hang up right now" he threatened, and Tendou's eyes went wide 

"No! Please not again, I'm sorry" he pleaded into the phone as Suga laughed at him 

Tendou spoke again when he remembered something, "Wait, did one of the boys ask you about a volleyball club earlier?" he rose an eyebrow 

Suga's face lit up and his smile was plastered wide on his face; "Oh! Yeah, that was the surprise! I saw they had few sports clubs, and Kawakami-san and I talked to the administration and they're letting me start a volleyball club here!" He laughed happily, "and when you come home, you can meet them in person! They'll love you Satori, they're so lively. They remind me of when I was in high school, except I'm in charge now." He gushed happily about his work and personal life blending together. 

Tendou couldn't help but laugh at how the excitement radiated off of Suga; "I'll be home in 3 days, do you think you'll be able to wait that long?" He teased him again, but happy he was coming home to see the boy he missed more than anything.

Suga rolled his eyes "Uh-huh, shouldn't you be packing? I'll see you soon" He smiled, getting ready to end the call 

"See you soon, paradise" 

~

It was now two and a half days into spring break, and Suga's students asked if they could continue to have practice throughout the break, and Suga happily agreed. On the days Tendou would go visit some family and other friends from Shiratorizawa, Suga would have some of the boys come to the school to practice. Tendou had met the bunch of students after picking Suga up after practice. Suga was right, they adored Tendou, they always asked him questions about France, and as promised, Tendou brought back Suga French desserts like he always did. 

Tendou was meeting with Semi, Goshiki, Reon, and Shirabu while Suga was at practice with the small boys, he loved how close he was with the students, even if he wasn't even their teacher. He arrived at the dormitories Shirabu was staying in and entered to see all his old friends sitting in a few chairs. 

He smiled at them and went to say hello before Semi beat him to it "Had to drive your boyfriend to practice again today?" he mocked him. Tendou had told his friends about him and Suga dating before he left for France, and yes, they reacted just as he thought they would. 

"Don't be jealous I'm the only one getting a piece of ass around here" Tendou retorted confidently, taking a seat on the chair next to Semi, they all groaned uncomfortably at his comment. 

Shirabu held a look of absolute disgust on his face; "I'm gonna ban you from ever coming back if you say something like that again." he threatened. 

To which Tendou held up his hands in defense; "Alright alright fine, but technically Semi-semi brought it up so if you're gonna kick someone out it should be him" Semi and Tendou playfully glared at each other, the two were good friends, but they had their moments. 

The bunch of boys continued laughing and conversing about life, asking Goshiki about high school, since he was now going into his third year. He matured like crazy, they all did. They talked for hours, laughing, reminiscing their old high school days together. Then his phone rang, he looked at the screen to see Suga's contact name, and so did Semi from next to him, he pushed his arm playfully 

"Go get loverboy" The boy next to him cooed teasingly. Tendou laughed, rolling his eyes as he wondered if they had finished practicing early, he picked up only to hear a boyish voice on the other end. 

"Hello?"

"Tendou-san, somethings wrong with Sugawara-sensei"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where the angst starts I am so sorry in advance from here on out

Tendou was speeding, driving the two to the hospital. Suga sitting in the passenger's seat, having a coughing fit. Tendou was on the brink of a panic attack, not knowing what the fuck was going on. When Tendou arrived at the school earlier he was met with Suga sitting, leaned against the wall, head buried into his knees as he coughed mercilessly. 

He parked immediately, practically carrying Suga out of the vehicle.

"Satori, I can.. walk on my own." He said, trying to get Tendou to calm down, Tendou's mind was racing too fast for him to comprehend what was going on. He nodded and helped Suga walk into the hospital. He had Suga sit down in one of the chairs in the waiting room as he went up to the front desk.

The lady sat there, not looking up at him as he spoke frantically; "Um, we need to see a doctor, my boyfriend he um, he can't breathe? I don't know what happened" fumbling over his words, he looked back at Suga quickly and watched him as he had his eyes clenched shut as his body shook vigorously whenever he would inhale.

"Name?" 

"Koushi Sugawara"

The lady froze, the small noise coming from her clicking the keyboard was silenced, almost like an explosion went off in her head. She looked up and instantly told the free nurse next to her to get the doctor. 

Tendou stood there confused as the nurse on the computer stood up, nodding to Tendou as he led them both to Suga. He stood shakily and Tendou helped him walk to the hospital room quickly. As soon as they sat down a doctor opened the door. She held a small smile but her eyes held panic inside of them. The nurse came in after her, placing an oxygen tank next to Suga and handing him the mask that went with it. 

Tendou was in a confused daze as he looked back and forth while the doctor and nurses asked him questions and threw out big medical terms that he would need Shirabu to translate to him later. He was brought back into reality when Suga stood up and the doctors told Tendou he would be back after a few tests. Before Tendou could protest, Suga was gone with the medical folks out of the room. 

He blinked, not necessarily knowing what to do, he hated hospitals more than anything and being alone in one only made his creeps ten times worse. He looked at his phone, he had missed messages from his friends, asking if everything was alright. Tendou decided not to answer, not knowing how to respond to them. 

After a while of Tendou nervously tapping his feet and fiddling with his fingers, and reading the various cringy medical posters on the white walls, the door opened again. The doctor had returned with Suga and he looked completely fine again. 

She typed into the computer quickly before turning back to Suga;

"So Suga, how many times have you had a pulmonary failure reaction since your last visit?"

"Um-" He shifted, obviously uncomfortable answering the question. Perhaps Tendou's presence was causing this. He eyed Tendou before sighing and finally answering. 

"Besides this? Only twice." 

Tendou watched as the doctor was taken aback slightly before nodding and typing again; "we talked about this-"

"It never happened in public. I thought I had it under control. The first time I was able to stop it from becoming too extreme and I had just needed to take a breath for a minute. I never thought it would happen while I was at school"

"And you said this is the first time it happened during volleyball since your second year of high school?"

Suga nodded. 

"Anyways Suga, the tests are showing your results in high numbers, you're good for now, but from now on, you must come in whenever it happens again." 

Tendou stayed silent as he tried processing what was happening. FInally being tired of being confused he spoke;

"Sorry to barge in all of a sudden, but, um, what is happening?" He said confusion laced in his words. 

The doctor went to open her mouth, but she stopped herself, turning to Suga to ask for his permission. He nodded lightly. So she spoke;

"My apologies Tendou-san, Suga suffers from Pulmonary Fibrosis. It's a respiratory illness caused by unknown scarring of the lungs. I'm sure he can give you the details, but he's been coming here since middle school for treatment." 

His brain stopped functioning. He hadn't heard about this. It can't be true. Why would Suga not tell him something so huge? It has to be a mistake on the doctor's part, this was a different Koushi Sugawara they have in their charts. It's the only reasonable explanation. But, in the back of his mind, he knew the truth. 

The doctor must have noticed the uncomfortable silence between Suga and Tendou. "I'm gonna go write you a prescription for an inhaler, your lungs need a specific medicated oxygen." And with that, she exited the room, leaving them alone. 

"Satori-" 

"Suga, what the fuck." 

Suga backed up slightly when Tendou chose to call him Suga instead of Koushi, yeah it wasn't THAT big of a deal, but he knew he really hurt Tendou. 

"Satori please-"

"I thought we had like- this whole honesty thing going on. You've literally been hiding something huge from me this entire time."

"You think I wanted to keep this from you? I didn't even tell Daichi until my third year of high school. It isn't the easiest fucking topic to bring up." 

Tendou watched as Suga let out his frustrations, he knew he shouldn't be freaking out at him like this. But he needed to let it out, and he didn't know how to stop himself. 

"What? Did you think I was going to break up with you or something? Do you really think I don't love you enough to stay with you after hearing this? I thought we were different, I didn't think you were scared of me like everybody else." 

"Are you fucking stupid? Seriously, are you fucking dense? Fine, if you need me to start over with you. Hi, I'm Sugawara Koushi and I have a terminal lung disease. Nice to meet you." Suga stuck his hand out aggressively to Tendou like he was introducing himself once again. 

"You know what-" Tendou stopped, Suga's words repeated in his brain, echoing until it hit him. "Wait. What did you say?" his voice softened, but Suga didn't give up. 

"What? Is there an issue? Hear something you didn't like? Was that too sudden for you?" 

"Jesus Christ I get it, I'm sorry, now can we please fucking talk about it normally?" 

That comment made Suga chuckle "Maybe if you let me do that before you started flipping out, but you've lost that opportunity." He huffed aggravatedly. This was extremely out of character for the two of them, a tense silence fell between them. 

"Fine, we can talk about this whenever you're done acting out. I know I was wrong for pushing and I'm sorry, I'm so unbelievably sorry, I could have never even guessed it would be this bad. But now you're taking it too far." 

Suga sat back down in his seat as he waited for the doctor, ignoring Tendou for the rest of his visit, and frankly the rest of the day. 

~

It had been a week since the doctor's visit and Suga and Tendou's fight. They still weren't on speaking terms. Suga stayed in his dorm room while Tendou stayed at home with his mom for the final few days of spring break. 

Tendou would still send Suga good morning and good night texts, not expecting an answer, but hoping for a reply back, anything. 

But nothing was sent to him. 

Soon it was time for Tendou to be sent back to school. He didn't want to leave Suga knowing they were in a bad spot, but what if they never fixed what was going on and Tendou lost any sliver of culinary education he could get.  
Tendou worried about their relationship as he went to go see Suga in person for the first time in about a week and a half. He knocked on the door cautiously. Suga opened it, got a glimpse of Tendou, and shut it again, luckily Tendou was able to catch the door before it was shut in his face. He could see a quarter of Suga's face from the way they applied force on both sides of the door. 

He sighed audibly; "Suga, I have to go back to school." 

Suga paused for a second, but quickly returned to the state of anger he held with Tendou; "okay, see you when you get back" he said straightforwardly. 

"I'm not going back" 

Suga completely stopped and Tendou took this opportunity to push the door fully open. 

"What?"

"I've been thinking about this for days. I know I hurt you horribly, but I can't just leave you to deal with this on your own. Not after you've had to deal with it all by yourself your whole life." Tendou cautiously took a step into the dorm room, Suga practically threw himself into Tendou's arms, almost knocking him to the ground. 

When Suga was silent, Tendou took another opportunity to speak; "I'm so sorry."

Suga shook his head viciously "Don't be. I love you so much" He spoke into Tendou's chest. 

After a moment of silence, taking in each other's presence as they hadn't been together for the past week, Tendou spoke once more.

"Wanna watch a shitty Hallmark movie with me?"


	4. Chapter 4

Tendou had kitchen supplies sprawled out everywhere in the dorm when Suga came home from his internship, a webcam stationed directly in front of him as he slid the pan of soon-to-be baked goods into the oven. He didn't regret helping Suga with his condition. If he had to make the decision again he would stay home every time, but he couldn't help but be a bit stressed as he offered to take all his university courses online and come home from France. Culinary was a difficult course in itself, but doing it online was surprisingly even harder. 

Tendou turned his head to meet the grey-haired boy's eyes as soon as the door opened. He smiled so wide the corners of his mouth had barely reached his eyes. 

He reached a hand out and laughed genuinely, motioning for his boyfriend to come over "Welcome home my love" 

Suga laughed at his gesture, yet took his hand "Shouldn't you be focusing on your work?" He instructed, sticking out his tongue 

This resulted in Tendou rolling his eyes as if his boyfriend was a high school literary teacher 

"Maybe I want to show off my wonderful boyfriend to my university? Is that such a crime?" he whined in a teasing manner, knowing he could get Suga to cave.

As Suga was slowly pulled in closer to his boyfriend, he could start to smell the warm deliciousness of baked goods being heated in the oven. Tendou laced his hand around Suga's waist, and they both started swaying in place slowly. Tendou reached his hand to smash his fingers into the radio, turning it on to whatever station had just happened to be playing. 

Suga flushed a bit when Tendou took his hand in his and started moving across the kitchen floor swiftly, "We're not going to do this in front of your entire class Satori" he pointed out, a bit embarrassed as the webcam was still recording the two as they danced. 

"Why? We shouldn't hide from the world." 

"But-" 

"Don't worry so much Koushi, I can always edit it out later if you really want me to."

Suga hummed in reply, finally letting himself calm down. He was in Tendou's arms, there was nothing for him to worry about. He was safe. 

Nearing the end of the song that was playing, Tendou suddenly dipped Suga and pulled him back up swiftly, causing Suga to laugh hysterically. The two expected it to end in a cute moment. But the universe had other plans. 

Suga suddenly lost his stance, almost falling over, Tendou grabbed him underneath his arms to hold him upright, Suga started coughing hysterically, choking on air. He couldn't breathe. Tendou's eyes widened; yes, they had been through this before, many times to be completely honest. But never had he lost his breath this easily. Tendou slid onto the tiled floor with Suga in his arms, positioning them so that Suga's back pressed against Tendou's chest. Tendou started taking deep, slow breaths. Squeezing Suga's hand lightly, almost signaling him to join the movements. Suga's back shook against Tendou as he attempted to regulate his breathing, he broke at times and had a coughing fit, which just caused Tendou to calmly squeeze his hand again as if telling him to put all of his concentration on Tendou's breathing. 

Tendou has no idea how long they had sat there together. He always worried about what would happen if Suga's breathing never steadied, would Suga die unexpectedly in Tendou's arms? It was his biggest fear. It felt like hours, and he was willing to sit there as Suga needed them to. Once Suga's breathing started to normalize again, he rested his head back on Tendou's shoulder and he felt Suga's back lightly shake in agony. He could only assume that tears were streaming down his face. 

"I'm sorry" he croaked softly, almost inaudible. "You shouldn't have to deal with this. You never asked for this." Continuously apologizing for simply existing in Tendou's life. 

Tendou didn't respond, instead, he wrapped his arms around Suga's torso and shoved his face into the crook of his neck, thinking of what to say. 

Finally, he spoke; "Don't ever say that. Don't ever even think that. You understand? If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be here right now. I love you. Dammit I don't want to lose you Koushi." tears spilled over Tendou's eyes as well, he wanted to be strong for his boyfriend, but he knew it would just hurt Suga more if he found out that Tendou was hiding how he really felt. They both knew they didn't have to put up a front with each other, not after what happened the last time. 

They sat there crying together, letting out their frustrations and worries a little longer, until the timer of the baked goods in the oven went off. Bringing the two back to reality. 

Suga shuffled off of his partner's body, telling him it was okay for the two to get up. Tendou jolted up so he could hold out his hands to help Suga up as well. 

Tendou slipped his oven mitts on, turned the oven off, and took his project out. Once it sat on the stove he turned back to Suga, who was getting his jacket on, a sorrowful smile plastered on his face. Tendou knew what it meant. He was getting worse. He collapsed over barely anything, which meant he had to get checked out by his doctor again. Tendou realized the webcam was still on, turning it off. He would just refilm himself later, he didn't want to go back and be forced to watch the experience they just had. 

He grabbed his own jacket and Suga threw the keys at him, he swiftly caught them. Suga wasn't allowed to drive after an episode, per his doctor's request, in fear that he could possibly relapse even after he calmed down. The two headed out to the familiar doctor's office down the road. 

~

Entering the familiar doctor's office, Tendou's senses were overwhelmed with the smell of overwhelming sanitation. He hated the hospital. They make hospitals look so kind and open, yet they symbolize illness, death, and the unknown. Not knowing the answers to things was terrifying. You couldn't just guess on instinct whether or not someone was going to live or die, but he supposed that's what the doctors were getting paid for. 

The doctor took them in as soon as possible and she smiled brightly at the both of them, despite the circumstances. She was always straightforward and honest with them, but somehow always helped them look on the brighter sides of things. This is why Suga liked her so much, he assumed. 

She closed the door behind them, taking a seat in the seat with wheels on it. "Hello again boys, the nurse told me you collapsed again? Whenever you're ready, tell me a bit about what happened before you had the episode." nodding swiftly, inviting Suga to tell her what happened. 

As Suga was retelling the story, Tendou felt Suga wrapping his pinky finger with his, as a small form of comfort they commonly used when anxious. 

Tendou couldn't help but zone out, he didn't want to think about it. It was his fault Suga had another episode, if he hadn't forced Suga to dance with him, if he hadn't dipped him suddenly… 

He was killing the love of his life. He was a monster. 

The voice of the doctor's calm, yet lively voice, brought Tendou out of his daze. "Well, boys, first off I want to start by saying this is common for the illness you have Suga. Any incidents that happen from now on, aren't anybody's fault." Tendou felt her voice being directed at him but he stared at the wall next to her head, so he wouldn't have known if she were actually talking to him or not. Suga and the doctor exchanged a few more words that were muffled into Tendou's ears until a common sentence got his attention. 

"Suga, I think we should run some tests, yeah? Come with me." She stood and opened the door, grabbing a clipboard from her drawer. 

Tendou heard shuffling coming from next to him, followed by warm hands being placed on his. He looked up to see Suga inches away from his face, looking at him genuinely. 

"I can feel your guilt from a mile away love. Please stop blaming yourself. It could have happened while I was getting off the train today, but you were there, and I was safe when it happened." His voice was soft, placing a gentle kiss on Tendou's forehead and standing up straight to follow the doctor. 

Tendou watched Suga walk away with the doctor, eyes didn't leave his figure until he couldn't see him anymore. He leaned forward in his chair again, placing his head in his hands. 

It's too quiet.

He hated silence. What was the point in living in silence when there could be laughter instead? But there was nothing Tendou could think of to make himself laugh in an empty white room, in a hospital, with his lover being picked and prodded at in another room. Maybe he could text someone to help himself calm down. Making others laugh always seemed to make him feel better, it almost made him forget whatever was going on. 

Pulling out his phone he looked at the selfie of him and Koushi that his partner had taken downtown during the wintertime last year, it has his favorite picture of the two. It was a time before Suga collapsed at university, before Tendou discovering the illness that had no cure, before finding out the love of his life was going to be ripped away from him by death.

Stop. 

He can't think about that yet. They have so much time together still. They're both so young, they have so much time to spend happily together before Suga's illness gets the best of him when they're in their 50's. 

He scrolled past a few contacts until he reached someone who would at least try to accept his humor. 

**Tendou Satori: Semi-Semi! so long no free concert tickets yet :( (07:47 pm) ******

********

Getting on Semi's nerves randomly was what Tendou did best, it definitely helped him feel better. Soon after he got a reply from the other individual 

********

**Semi "semisemi" Eita: I already told you Tendou. I can't get you concert tickets until we actually book a gig. Also. STOP. CALLING. ME. THAT. (07:50pm) ******

************ ** **

**Tendou Satori: You know you love it ;) (07:51 pm) ******

**************** ** ** ** **

**Semi "semisemi" Eita: Gross. Don't you have a boyfriend to go harass? (07:52pm) ******

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

Tendou looked at the phone, not really sure how to respond. He didn't necessarily want Suga coming up in this conversation, since it was supposed to distract him from the situation at hand. He slowly typed a response. 

******************** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Tendou Satori: he's a bit too busy at the moment, so you're stuck with me semi semi!! (07:55pm) ******

************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Semi "semisemi" Eita: What could he possibly be doing that can keep you away from him for this long? I hope he isn't cheating, although I personally would understand. (07:56pm) ******

**************************** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Tendou Satori: cheating? I mean sure his doctor's cute, but I don't think she's really his type. (07:57pm) ******

******************************** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

The typing bubble popped up on his cell phone, lasted quite a while, and then disappeared. Starting up again after a few seconds. A response popped on on the cell phone. 

******************************** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Semi "semisemi" Eita: Shit. He's back at the hospital? Fuck man I'm sorry. (07:59 pm) ******

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Tendou turned off the phone, suddenly disinterested in talking to anyone. He didn't want to hear pity responses from his friends. The sounds of footsteps neared closer when Tendou lifted his head slightly. He was met with the doctor walking ahead of Suga. The pair entering the room, sitting back in their original seating positions. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"Any good news for us doc?" Tendou asked, eyeing the back of her head as she wordlessly typed into her computer. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

When she finished typing, she turned around to them with a light smile on her face. The same one she wore before Suga had left for testing. That had to be good news. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"Well, the tests suggest that Suga's illness is, in fact, rapidly getting worse. Suga, we've had this discussion many times over the years, so I'm sure you already know what I'm going to say." She stated the statistics of the test results in a professional manner, a smile still gleaming onto her rosy cheeks.

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"Since your numbers have suddenly skyrocketed, and the fact that we need to provide medicinal oxygen, we recommend going onto hospitalized bed rest as soon as possible." 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

With that singular phrase, the world became muffled around Tendou. She had to be telling a joke right? Suga's too young to have to go on bedrest NOW. He has the rest of his life ahead of him? What about his soon-to-be students? His little brother? His friends? What about Tendou? 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Was it selfish of Tendou to be freaking out the way he was? Yes absolutely, he understood that. Suga's entire world must be falling apart. Tendou brought himself back to reality to put his hand into Suga's, giving a light squeeze to let him know he was there. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

But Suga didn't look phased at all. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Suga nodded at her "Thank you, Doctor. Are there any other results needed to be received today?" He asked, standing up to shake her hand. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

The rest of their goodbyes were missed as Tendou was lost in his own thoughts, as he would be walking out of the hospital, as he would be on the car ride home, and as he would be walking into the apartment building. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

~

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"I'm not going yet." 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

He looked at the boy next to him as if he'd lost his mind, surely he had. Suga had to go to the hospital, he needed the oxygen tank, to go on bed rest, or else he would die. He wasn't allowed to leave yet. He was growing weaker at a fast state, and he wasn't giving up for whatever reason. He still helped coach the elementary school volleyball team; he says it doesn't matter since he doesn't move very much, so Tendou couldn't say no. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

He spoke with curiosity lacing his entire being "Why wouldn't you want to go? Aren't you in pain?" 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"I don't want to live with wires sticking out of me for the rest of my life. I'll be in pain either way, may as well go when I'm ready." He put it simply, as if we weren't talking about his own life. He was throwing away his own life.

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"You can't be serious. Are you even thinking about the consequences here?" He never thought the day would come where Tendou would be the voice of reason.

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Suga looked him square in the face. If Suga was ever serious, even once in his life, it was right now. He narrowed his eyes slightly. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"Yes, I'm serious, Satori. I made my decision when I was younger and I'm not budging."

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"Koushi. Why would you give up that easily? Why would you risk your whole-"

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

He was cut off when Suga's voice rose slightly "I don't want my last memories to be rotting in a fucking hospital Satori. I thought you would be the first one to understand that." Tears began sliding down his face. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"What if you start to get better? And you can come off of bed rest and-" 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Being cut off once again, this time by Suga letting out a sob before calling out to him "I can't Satori! I can't get better. It's impossible. I'm going to die."

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Tears welled up in Tendou's eyes as he witnessed Suga finally crack. He had always tried to make the best out of his illness, but Tendou could feel it was finally getting to him. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

There was silence until Suga decided to croak out one more sentence.

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

"What's the point if it doesn't feel good." 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Those words were so familiar, the words Tendou had used his entire life. His eyes opened wide as he inhaled sharply. It suddenly clicked. Suga knew he was dying soon, and didn't want his loved ones to be in pain watching it happen in sorrow. Even at Suga's deathbed, he still thought about how others would feel, and he was probably doing it for himself too. Tendou couldn't possibly say no to that. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

He exhaled slowly, almost sighing "Okay. But you're getting checked out every week." This was Tendou's bargain and he wasn't letting it up, although Suga wouldn't fight him anyway. 

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Suga smiled at him gently, standing on his toes to wrap his arms around his lover's neck and planting a kiss on his lips, to let him know he appreciated him more than anything, and to apologize for everything that was just said. And Tendou generously returned it, wrapping his arms around the smaller one's waist, pulling him closer as to let him know he could always confide in him.

************************************ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) this chapter is the "somewhat" fluff you guys get,, enjoy it while you can :D

Suga and Tendou took some time to the two of themselves for a bit. Deciding to spend time with each other instead of their friends. Mostly since Tenou wanted Suga to take a break from the new volleyball club. They promised it would only last a few days...

They weren't worried about that for the moment. Right now Suga and Tendou were watching a movie when Suga turned it off suddenly. 

"Hey, we were watching that" Tendou whined, he currently laid in a ball like a cat, resting his head on Sugas chest as they both lounged on the couch. 

Suga turned his head to look out the window, it was about 4 pm, the sun would set in about 2 hours. 

"I'm bored, let's go do something" he grunted those last three words as he stretched his arms out, Tendou's head falling off Suga's chest and onto the couch cushions. 

Tendou groaned when his face fell from Suga's body, but he used the freedom to finally extend the long limbs that were curled up into his body for a majority of the movie. "Well, what do you want to do? Since you've disturbed me from my comfort." He complained teasingly. 

Suga swung his body to the side and stood up from the couch, knocking the rest of Tendou down to the floor. Which earned Suga a challenging glare from Tendou. Suga stumbled for a second, but quickly regained his posture and laughed at the sudden reaction change from Tendou.

"I feel like I haven't been outside in ages, let's just take a drive to the park or something"

Tendou opened his mouth to say something snarky, but it actually was not a bad idea, he actually liked the sound of it. They really hadn't been out together in a while. Suga was already standing at the door, keys in hand when Tendou stood up from his spot on the floor. 

~

The two had been driving for quite some time, and Tendou finally realized they weren't headed to the park anymore, he decided to entertain himself while Suga drove the two through bumblefuck nowhere. 

"Where are we even going you liar, we passed the park like 20 minutes ago"

"Literally shut the hell up and wait or I will drive this car off the road."

"I wouldn't be surprised with your driving skills... or lack thereof" 

Tendou smirked at Suga as his mouth gaped open in shock, like Tendou had insulted his entire bloodline. He knew he had won this conversation. Suga knew he was an awful driver, as much as he hated to admit it. Tendou had only let him drive today because Suga was already in the driver's seat by the time he had gotten to the car. 

Tendou threw his arms behind his head and decided to just wait for whatever Suga was driving them to, since Suga didn't drive unless he thought it was important. After another 10 minutes, they finally reached this abandoned farm-like area, they were high in altitude. Suga got out of the car, closing the door behind him, Tendou did the same. 

"Oh, I see, you've finally gotten tired of my jokes, I get it, make it quick and easy will you?" Tendou squeezed his eyes shut jokingly, acting as if Suga had malicious intent behind their journey. No, Tendou was not murdered, but Suga did smack him in the head before walking away.

"Come on idiot, we don't have all day" he called back at the other male who was still standing by the car. 

The sky was fading from blue into a light pink, the clouds illuminated the colors and the sun made it seem like there was a golden hue around them. Tendou saw Suga sitting in the grass by a small stream, the rocks were mossy and it had very few fish in it. Even the wildlife seemed abandoned out here. 

"How do you know about this place anyway?" Tendou asked him, sitting next to the shorter male. 

This comment made a soft smile form on Suga's face, "A few friends used to come up here and do a few 'after school activities'" He laughed, Tendou immediately knowing what he was implying "I mean, me with my lungs and everything, I pretty much only came for the view, and the serenity I guess… It quickly became a comfort spot for me."

Tendou watched him as he reminisced on his younger years, the setting sun shone perfectly on Suga's face. He looked as if he was sent down from heaven itself… heaven…

"Do you believe in heaven?" Suga asked, as if he could read Tendou's mind "Y'know, life after death, eternal happiness, no worries ever again?"

"I don't think so," Tendou put it simply, laying down in the grass to get a better view of the sky; "My mom told me, when people die, we become roots in the ground, turning into the trees, providing oxygen and homes for hundreds of thousands of years." He suddenly turned red once he saw the way Suga was looking at him, sitting up again suddenly. "It sounds stupid, I know. It just feels nice to think about that we have somewhere that we belong, in the long run, I mean." 

"I don't think that's stupid" Suga shook his head softly, before turning to Tendou and putting a hand on his cheek lightly. "You're so amazing Satori, you know that?" He stroked the other's cheek gently, as if he was a porcelain doll, and any wrong move would cause him to shatter into a million pieces. "You are going to do amazing things. You may not have a connection with the soil, or the birds, but I know in all my heart, you belong right here, with me, and you have so much purpose it's unimaginable." 

Before he even realized it, Tendou had noticed Suga had swiped a tear from his cheek off of his face. Tendou pulled Suga into the warmest hug he had truly ever given. With Suga was where Tendou belonged. "I love you, more than anything." Was all that Tendou could make out without having a waterfall of tears fall from his eyes. 

The sunset was now tones of red turning violet and dark blue. The two boys laid in the grass, in each other's arms, a comfortable silence among them. 

Suga suddenly broke the silence; "You wanna know what the worst part of this is?" 

Tendou turned his face so that he was facing the boy, a confused look on his face. With his eyes, he told Suga to continue with his thought.

"I've been prepared to die at any point in time since I was 12. Why'd you have to come and make it so hard for me to give up." His voice shattered. "I'm so happy, and I'm so scared of what comes next." He sobbed into Tendou's shoulder, and Tendou didn't know what to say, so he didn't. He took the boy in his arms once again, planting a kiss on his forehead, his nose, then both his cheeks, his chin, and finally his lips. A small chuckle escaped Suga's lips, and just hearing the faint happiness in the bottom of Suga's throat was enough to make Tendou happy.


	6. Chapter 6

A week later, Suga stood over Tendou and woke him up, a small smile on his face. Tendou slowly opened his eyes and immediately tried to get Suga back to sleep. Tendou wouldn't let Suga do much at all after that latest doctor's appointment. He took Suga to the internship, and made sure the staff didn't make him do anything that could risk a lung collapse. Tendou went to volleyball with Suga, and did most of the physical stuff for him. 

"My love, I'm going to go on bed rest," He said softly, cupping Tendou's face carefully. Tendou's eyes bulged out of his head as his face showed a mixture of shock and complete happiness. He opened his mouth to say something, but Suga beat him to it 

"On one condition of course" he smirked, Tendou should have guessed Suga wasn't going to comply that easily. 

He sighed, sitting up, having Suga sit on the bed next to him "What is it?" 

Suga shook his head "no, you have to agree before I tell you" he persisted, causing Tendou to narrow his eyes at him 

"Koushi…"

"Do you want me to go or not?" He rolled his eyes and asked, not caving 

"Fine. Now tell me what it is." He looked suspiciously at the now grinning boy in front of him

"I called everyone from Karasuno. We're playing a scrimmage, one last time, as a team. Everyone was able to be home for it too" His eyes glistened as Tendou's jaw dropped, before he broke into laughter 

"That was funny, it really was, now tell me what you want," He said gasping for air after each burst of laughter. He looked up at Suga to see him stone-faced 

"I'm not joking. So you better get ready because we're meeting at Karasuno in 3 hours!" he said cautiously, knowing Tendou was about to burst. 

"Koushi. You're not playing volleyball," he said strictly, putting a hand on Suga's thigh, but Suga dismissed him 

"Satori, you already said yes. There's really nothing you can do now except either stay here or come with me." He shrugged. Tendou knew there was nothing he could do, he couldn't lock Suga in the dorm. Even then he was sure Suga would find a way to sneak out. 

"What if something happens to you?" he said faintly, barely audible 

Suga's face changed instantly into a comforting one, he took the other boy's face in the two of his hands as he looked him in the face "I'm about to sit in a hospital bed until my lungs finally give up on me, Satori. Please, I just want to do the thing I love more than anything, with the people I love, just one more time. Please." he begged, tears forming in both of their eyes. 

Tendou nodded slowly, kissing Suga softly. He was willing to do anything for him, even if it made him scared shitless. 

~

So there they were, standing outside of Karasuno, waiting to play Suga's last game of volleyball ever. Suga turned to Tendou

"I have a surprise for you, after the game of course" He smiled genuinely at the other, hands locked together. 

Tendou opened the door for Suga, revealing the Karasuno team Suga knew and loved. Suga's family. 

Suga smiled at them, tears building up in his eyes, and quite frankly all of theirs as well. Even Yachi and Kiyoko were there. They all knew why they were there, yet nobody spoke of it. 

"Okay let's get this thing started" Daichi yelled, ruffling Suga's hair, everyone patting him on the back as they used to, like a team.

They all had their uniforms on and were a few minutes into the game. Tendou's eyes stayed on Suga the entire time, he had Suga's inhaler in his right hand for whenever he would need it. Suga was on the side with Daichi, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Tsukishima, and Narita. The other side held Hinata, Kageyama, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. There were only 12 of them total, so Suga would be playing the entire game, which worried Tendou. 

It was the second half of the game, Suga's team was at match point with the other team, and during every time out, Suga had gone to see Tendou for his inhaler. Suga looked so happy, happier than he had seen him in a long time. Not to say he and Suga weren't happy together, but volleyball brought a certain joy that couldn't be replaced. He understood that more than anyone. Tendou smiled softly as he watched Suga receive what he had longed for.

Asahi hit the ball over to the other side and Kageyama set the ball to Narita and was sent down to Nishinoya. He hit it, but it spiraled out of control, flying to the back of the gym. Tendou's breath hitched as he watched Suga dart after the ball. His hand clutched the inhaler as Suga reached out for the ball, hitting it. It went flying over the net to the other team. But they watched it drop as Suga lost his footing. And collapsed. 

Fuck. 

On instinct, Tendou slid to Suga's side, as did everyone else.


	7. Chapter 7

Driving Suga to the hospital was hell to bear. Tendou was speeding, feeling an immense amount of deja vu from this situation. Suga was struggling to breathe, coughing as he couldn't get any air into his lungs, but he wasn't panicking at all.

Almost like he was coming to terms with something huge. 

It suddenly hit him.

With tears in his eyes, he gripped the steering wheel as they hit a red light and yelled to the windshield in front of him. "You knew, didn't you? You knew this was going to happen? What the fuck Koushi." He sobbed, knowing it was happening, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. 

Suga didn't respond. 

They came to a halt at the emergency entrance of the large hospital they visited together multiple times. The smell of over-cleanliness pierced his senses more than usual today as Suga and Tendou were sent into the nearest empty hospital room as the nurses panicked to get the right oxygen tank for him. 

"Satori" Suga coughed out, smiling at the boy crouched at his side. 

"Koushi, please don't let go. I need you." He sobbed, clutching Suga's hand. 

Suga used his other hand to cradle Tendou's cheek gently; "Go do everything that makes you feel good. You're going to do such amazing things" Suga started, tears welling up inside him "I'm so sorry I won't be around to see it all" he smiled faintly "I love you endlessly"

"No, you can't go yet, please, please stay with me, Koushi-"

" _Farewell, my paradise _"__

__And just like that, it was over. No machines went off. Nothing to signify Suga's passing except the deafening sobs from Tendou. Gripping the wrist of the boy's hand still lying lifeless on his face. He thought that somehow, if he didn't let go of Suga, it wouldn't be real, somehow if he stayed put, time would reverse, and these damned nurses would have hooked him up in time, and he could hold him once more._ _

__The thought of never being hugged by Suga again shattered him into pieces. He didn't even notice when Dr. Takemi came in, but a hand was felt on his back. For a split second, he thought it was Suga, he looked up only to be met with the doctor with a look of severe grief on her face. She knew this was bound to happen, she knew him since he was a middle-schooler._ _

__"Take as much time as you need, but it is hospital policy for me to tell you that we need to collect his body sooner rather than later." She nodded at him sorrowfully, yet professionally, as she turned to exit the room. Leaving Tendou alone once more._ _

__He hated that word. Body. He wasn't just some random person. The love of his life had perished, he would never get to see that smile that naturally glowed on his face ever again. And they had the nerve to call him that like he was nothing._ _

__Tears continued for god knows how long. It felt like hours, but it didn't feel long enough once Tendou was ushered out of the hospital room. He was led by the nurses who had failed to do their only fucking job correctly, tears still making their way down his eyes. He looked over slightly, and eye contact was made with Mr. and Mrs. Sugawara who had just entered the hospital with their second son. His head spun and he felt sick to his stomach. He practically ran over to them, engulfing Suga's poor mother into the tightest embrace he's ever experienced. She sobbed into his shoulder, as he did to her as well._ _

__The words that came out of her mouth were unexpected; "Thank you. For everything."_ _

__He swallowed roughly, trying to keep his stomach in his body, he spat out "I..I'm… so-...sorry"_ _

__He could barely let it out, letting go of her suddenly. Reality hit him, hard, it rose up inside him as he made a break for it. Entering the nearest bathroom, relieving himself of everything built up inside him. He sobbed out in indescribable pain. After letting everything out, he sat against the stall. Tears gone, but marks still stained in red marks down his face._ _

__Footsteps finally were heard as the stall door opened, revealing Semi and Daichi. Tendou didn't look up to them as they hoisted him up on his feet. Their eyes red and glossy from tears as well. As they walked him out, he made eye contact with the rest of Karasuno, he couldn't help but feel weaker in his already giving out legs. There were so many people who cared for Suga here. So many people who wouldn't ever get to experience his presence again. He put on a fake smile as he was comforted by everyone around him. 'Sorry for your loss' never brought anyone back, so what was the point in even saying it._ _

__~_ _

__After the funeral, Tendou was planning on making his way back to France to finish school. He wasn't planning on ever coming back either. He already knew he wasn't going to be able to live somewhere where he is constantly reminded of the passing of his true love. Tendou had lost everything he loved, volleyball, Suga. He couldn't even watch volleyball anymore, because it only reminded him of what he's lost._ _

__There were many familiar faces seated around him, as well as a few he didn't recognize. Almost every volleyball team in Miyagi, even some of the Tokyo teams. All of Shiratorizawa was there as well, Tendou hadn't asked them to come, but he didn't tell them not to either. The image that broke him most was a group of elementary school kids seated together, the leader of their group was Kawakami-sensei. The blonde-haired boy had made eye-contact with Tendou, giving him a small wave. Tendou returned the wave, a soft smile on his face despite the twisting and turning feeling in his stomach._ _

__He stood in his black and white suit and tie, the rest of the funeral was a blur to him. He had given a small speech, he knew the words he spoke would never explain how much he had adored Suga, and nothing he said would ever be enough. He smiled through his tears, told a few jokes to get people into higher spirits, but it didn't mean anything to him. How was he supposed to go on? He couldn't._ _

__He was broken from his thoughts when Suga's little brother approached him, he held out something to Tendou and Tendou carefully opened his hand to receive it._ _

__"The doctor gave us a box of stuff from Koushi, this was in his pocket." He said, flashing a small smile before placing the item in Tendou's hand and then turning away to go find his mother._ _

__Tendou looked down at the small box in his hand. He knew what it was. Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered the events that took place before the game._ _

__'I have a surprise for you, after the game of course'_ _

__Tendou opened the small box, and as he guessed, a small golden wedding band sat inside, and engraved inside the little box read;_ _

_See you soon, paradise ___


	8. Epilogue

Stepping off the plane, he walked over to the giant window in the airport to look out at the city on the other side. A memory from before he had left for school for the first time flashed into his mind. 

It was from the car ride to the airport, Tendou's mom sat in the front seat with Tendou next to her. Suga was supposed to be sitting in the back, but was basically squished between the two front seats so he could have better access to the conversation. 

"I literally can't believe you're going to Paris… I've always wanted to go there, and I still don't see why you can't just take me with you." Suga pouted dramatically. 

Tendou chuckled in reply "I guess I'll just have to take you back with me eventually"

With that, Suga lighted up completely, his eyes shone happily "I can't wait to go to Paris with you" 

"What the fuck am I? You act like I didn't give birth to you. Where's my ticket to Paris?" Tendou's mom finally chimed in, teasing Tendou, to which he rolled his eyes 

"Obviously you can come to see me, mom, please." he laughed at the two most dramatic people he had ever met in the car with him. 

As if on cue, they pulled up to the airport. Tendou knew this was where he had to make his goodbyes, he gave his mom a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She started tearing up, which made him roll his eyes at her. But he knew he was gonna miss her too. 

He got out of the car and opened the back door to be met with Suga again, Suga practically flew out of the car to hold Tendou in his arms one last time. 

"I promise you that we will see Paris together one day."

Coming back to reality as he continued looking out the window, he felt the tears welling up in his eyes. He subconsciously grabbed the ring that sat on his left hand, rolling it around his finger a few times.  
He stepped through the doors of the airport, the cool wind hitting his body from all angles, he couldn't help but smile at the memories of the boy he'd never let go. 

"We're finally here, my paradise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE, IM SO SORRY I WROTE THIS-
> 
> YOU DESERVE TO COME YELL AT ME PLEASE DO IT. 
> 
> Despite the indescribable amount of pain this story brings me, I hope you enjoyed it :) 
> 
> You can come scream at me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/sakuraxdream)
> 
> Or you can even scream at me on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/)
> 
> \- Dream :)


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